A dog on a leash in the hands of a man is a total chick magnet. Right?
Um, I’m not so sure.
This past weekend, a buddy and I did some local wine tasting while his wife was out of town. We brought his dog along. The dog couldn’t join us in the tasting room, but wouldn’t you know – when we headed to a second winery, the town streets were blocked off for an art and wine festival.
“You take the leash,” my buddy said. “Dogs are a chick magnet. You’ll meet all sorts of women.”
That sounded perfect to me. I’m divorced and on the market, and online dating totally sucks. It’s so much more fun and natural to meet women in real life. I happily took the leash.
Single Dad Dating – Where’s the Line of Women?
We didn’t get 10 yards before an older man in a Hawaiian shirt stopped me to pet the dog. “Is she a puppy?” he asked.
“No, she’s twelve years old,” I said.
Another ten yards, and another guy stopped me. “Is that a Malamute?” he asked.
“No, it’s a Husky,” I said.
Where the hell were the women?
We got some wine and kept walking the art fair. My buddy walked ahead, and I was walking the dog alone. There were plenty of women, but they were all staring at art from the fair and didn’t pay any attention to the dog. I even strategically walked the dog in a way that some of the women couldn’t not ignore the dog.
Yet, they ignored her.
Twenty men later, I stopped to chat with an artist about her work. I swear, the only people who were interested in the dog were guys and children.
My buddy came over, and I handed him the leash, and all of a sudden – two women appeared out of nowhere and wanted to pet the dog.
WTF!!?? They couldn’t do it when I was holding the leash?
My buddy laughed. “You have bad luck,” he said.
“Maybe it’s your wedding ring,” I said. “A married guy with a dog is totally safe to approach.” We weren’t in the city, after all; we were in a Silicon Valley suburb.
“Ha. Well then, you better get a fake wedding ring.”
Should my faux wedding band be gold or silver?
The Other Woman When My Loveawake Online Date Stood Me Up
Earlier this summer, a woman I met on Loveawake stood me up for our first date. This, after letting me drive an hour to meet her. (All I can say is WTF?! Online dating sucks.)
There was another woman in the bar that day, sitting two barstools away. This other woman and I chatted while I was waiting for my date, and she encouraged me not to give in to my date’s late suggestion that I wait yet another hour for her to show.
“It’s good you found this out about her now,” the woman in the bar said.
Endless First Date Delays – When to Say Forget It
Once I knew that my Loveawake date was a no show, this other woman and I talked a bit more. She was attractive, around my age, drinking a big glass of Chardonnay by herself. (I was downing Pellegrino with lime. No way would I drink a martini in the middle of the day with an hour drive ahead of me.)
I wondered if she’d come to the bar for a late lunch. Maybe I should stay and eat, and share some company.
“Have you ever dated online?” I asked.
She sighed. “I met my husband online.”
“So, online dating works,” I said.
At this point, the woman started sobbing. Oh, boy. The big glass of Chardonnay. Her alone at the bar on a weekday afternoon. A marriage made through internet dating. This couldn’t be good.
My Loveawake Online Dating Subscription Ended – Hooray!
When her tears subsided a bit, she said, “I just found out he’s not who he said he was.”
She bit her lip, and I wondered how to console a stranger who was in tears. It seemed she needed to unload. I wondered: Had her new husband and online match pretended to be wealthy? Had he lied about his age? Was he already married to someone else?
“He has a girlfriend already,” she said. “I don’t know what to do.”
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How do you advise a middle-aged woman who’s been re-married all of a month, and who just discovered her new husband is chasing other women?
“I have no family here,” she said. “I took a chance on him. I thought it would work.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
She cried some more. I felt awkward. I’d never seen a complete stranger lose it in front of me like this. I also couldn’t help thinking how much I disliked online dating as a way to enter a commited relationship. When there’s no mutual connection other than a faceless corporate dating site, the worst can happen.
She finally calmed down, then apologized for unloading on me. Turned out she was actually supposed to meet a friend of hers who she thought would give her some good advice.
I took this as my cue to leave. I paid my bar tab and headed to a burger joint for a late lunch.
I know online dating works for some people, and even I still use it as the occasional tool for meeting someone new for drinks. But between this other woman’s tragic second marriage, and my online date who stood me up, I have to ask: why the hell do so many jerks screw up internet dating for nice normal people?
Since I don’t know the answer to that, I will stick to my tried and tested dating approach – only get serious with women I meet through friends.